We have officially entered the "fit throwing" stage. Treyson has never tried my patience before beyond unrolling rolls of toilet paper and throwing my cell phone in the trash. Now, he tests it daily. I feel so bad for throwing him off to TRevor at the end of the day bc I am simple exhausted. Treyson is a sweet boy but he screeches and screams and throws fits constantly. It has to be because he can't vocalize what he wants to say, RIGHT? I feel like he's so young still, but really has to start being disciplined. Several moms told me to give him a little "flick" when he screams out of anger. I struggle with it. Other articles I read say to put him in his room untill he "cools" off. But does he really understand the purpose? I feel like he doesn't understand enough of what I'm saying.
Today, I tried to be a good mom and take him to the splash park. He sat down, kicking, screaming and having the hissy fit of a lifetime. I told him I am never taking him to another park in his lifetime.
I am beginning to realize how easy the first 18 months were. People, including myself, thought it was a cake walk. It was. Now.....now, I am scared. Discipline? Fits? SPITTING? (yes, he spits when Angry. I have NO idea how he learned such a thing. Rest assured, no saliva has left my mouth ever!)
Nonetheless, I love that little rugrat with all my heart. Tonight, we sat on the couch eating popcor and watching the Bachelorette. Trey is a BIG fan! He stood up in the middle of it and kissed the crown of my head just like I always do him.
It was pretty much the best kiss EVER.
Except that one his daddy gave me back in Jan '07.
(Except that one totally led to a hard core makeout. naughty.)
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11 educated comments:
haha! Oh, Andrea...I'm sorry you had to deal with a tantrum today! We are sorry we were late...it would've been wonderful to see you. Let's get together soon!
Good luck! I started discipline with both my boys at about 18 months. They don't usually make the connection right away though. I simply pick them up and put them in a designated "time out" spot (Bennett sits on the bottom stair, but Jackson needed a bedroom). Even if they don't "get it" right away, it's good to remove them from the situation so they can change environments and calm down, and so that you remove the audience (you-the reason for the tantrum). It's hard in public places, but if you're consistent at home, you can find ways in public (go outside, pull a car over, go to a corner etc).
Now, with Bennett (he just turned 2) just the mention of the word time out kicks him in gear. Jackson was more difficult though, and time out were mostly for me to cool down (not as effective for him)
Good luck! Hope it gets better!
I completely agree with Heidi.. we did the same thing with claira and it has really worked. her designated time out spot is usually the corner (now, ay age 4, she RARELY, if ever, needs a time out..now I just have to give her a warning). the other thing i have found effective is getting down on their level, making them have eye contact with you and tell them their behavior is unnacceptable. at 18 mnths he may not understand the words, but he will learn to understand the tone and body language. Also, i would avoid sending him to his room if you can.. i could tell you a MILLION horror stories about the destruction kids can or think to do when they are alone in their room bc they're mad and in trouble.
I have learned that with poor behavior the most important thing to do is to make sure you are giving them your undivided attention when you discipline/teach. Like Teryn said, eye contact is so important. When I try to give maddie some hurried, half-hazard discipline... uh like saying "NO" or just trying to take something from her- she doesn't hardly even respond... except maybe to even be even more deliberate in what she is doing haha. But when I drop to my knees and get down to her eye level SO much changes. Maybe not the very first time but with consistency. I don't have to take things from Maddie anymore. She just hands them to me. Sometimes I am right in the middle of something or am being just plain lazy and don't feel like putting that much effort into it ... but it makes so much difference when I do.
If he doesn't understand what your saying have you tried reading what the baby sign language book says to do!!??? O and about your earlier post California vacation syndrome.... buck up its life. You lived in UT and visited CA respectively number one and two in plastic surgeries; therefore, allow yourself to come to the conclusion that not only are the people fake but so are the glamorous, "FAST PACED" life styles they appear to live!!!! The grass will always appear greener on the other side for such is a favorite trick of the cunning one.
P.S. I had to throw the fake thing in to stir some controversy however statistics are statistics.
love all your latest pics. wish we lived closer together.. we would be best buddies. and i feel you on the blog thing- there's just something about it!
Well, since my child is an angel...
I've had to deal with all sorts of bad behavior. Time out has been the only form of discipline that has worked for us. We have a designated corner at home (equipped with a pillow for the days he used to bang his head on the ground while in time out), and would set a timer. I also put him in time out in public places and friends houses and it still works. Get to their eye-level, and just say "No." Any other talk explaining what was bad is just too much for them to process at that age. All you need is a firm No. He'll start to associate his bad behavior with time out soon enough.
We started at 18 months too. It doesn't have to be a long time-out at that age. Even just thirty seconds of removing him from the area. Now we do Kyle's age is the length of time out.
Also, Kyle is at the age where if I yell at him to stop, he just yells back at me. Nothing scares him. So, yes, I praise time-out.
q has yet to throw tantrums....i'm sure it will happen soon. every once and a while he'll get mad when i take something away. nothing too drastic but i just ignore him....that seems to have kept the tantrums at bay.
but he has trouble with throwing food off his high chair. he thinks its hilarious and i think its annoying/messy. i haven't found a way to get him to stop.
i've been looking for a good book to move in to toddlerdom....i want to avoid having him be spoiled and anxious when the next baby comes-if that's at all avoidable. if you hear of one let me know!
wow. im speechless. that sounds awful. im sorry you're having to deal with that!
brady has the occasional tantrum when he doesnt get something he wants, when i take something away or when something doesnt go his way. it happens a few times a week. but like jenna said, what i do is simply ignore him. he's usually over it in under 10 seconds and moves on.
im curious to see your responses on this...ill have to log a few suggestions and pieces of advice if/when brady hits that stage.
i hope it gets better for you!
I am RIGHT at that phase with you. Colton is a beast right now and he adds in the throwing EVERY object at my head. I have tried every kind of way to stop him from throwing...ignoring, being nice, being mean, time out, toys in time out...ugh. I am a total failure with discipline apparently. Maybe he'll just eventually outgrow it and then I'll think what I'm doing is working. haha.
I hear ya on the tantrums thing. Bailey has them more these days then ever. I can tell 2 is just around the corner. I put her in a designated time out spot, explain what she did and she she can't do that and then she normally just cries and cries and then I ignore it. It seems they stop crying much faster if you ignore them then trying to talk to them. But I like to tell her very briefly why she did what she did and she shouldn't have. I have no idea if this is right, its from no book but it seems to be working with her. She's starting to hate the word time out. I can tell it's starting to click with her.
I've heard of the flicking thing but I just can't get myself to do it. I just think it might make them think they have the right to flick other kids...
Baileys is into the biting when she is angry right now, don't know where she learned it from but it hasn't been fun to deal with...
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