I am giving birth in T-Minus 8 weeks. I am officially terrified. We decided to do some birthing classes online since we just don't (literally) have time to get to the hospital for a 8 hour class (well, Trevor doesn't!), but if anyone is nice enough to offer hints/advice/stories, it would REALLY appease my fears and perhaps cure my ignorance.
I still don't get why it's so hard to push??? Trevor just found out that sometimes some poop accompanies the pushing. He said, if that happens, he will vomit and leave.
Maybe we should work on this support thing.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Labor
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20 educated comments:
I wish I could calm your fears but I'm terrified too and a little jealous of you since you'll have it all overwith a few weeks before me! Although from what I hear - and boy have I asked around - if you get an epidural it's a piece of cake for most people. Unless of course you're in labor all day and don't get the epidural until the end. I have friends who got it before the pain even started and felt nothing the whole time. About the whole pushing/pooping thing. Tell him he better prepare himself. Apparently that's just one of those things - when pushing that hard it all comes out they say. Totally grosses me out. But all part of the fun...eh.
Luckily I didn't poop, but they had to "cut" a lot of me and Tim says that if he thinks of that he feels sick to his stomach. (Was that TMI?) But speaking of poop, going to the bathroom for the first time after having a baby was more painful than the actual labor. They give you stool softener in the hospital, but I didn't go while in there. No one ever says this stuff because it's embarrassing, but I thought I'd warn you. My neighbor and I were just talking about it last night.
Also, you might want to consider buying old lady depends. I heard they are way more comfortable than the HUGE pads the hospital gives you with the "one size fits all" mesh underwear. Can you tell I talk about this subject freely? Any more question and I'd love to answer them.
Okay, so now that Trevor has opened the door on that one, YES, when you push that hard, the bowels tend to "leak". Get over it. The sooner you do, the faster that baby will come out.
And.....enjoy your epidural. It is the ONLY way to go.
The first BM is more scary than it is painful just eat things that give you loose stools for the first two weeks and you will be fine.
And you will learn an entire new love for the word MAXI pads.
But it's all so wonderful. It really is. I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.....except for the fact that I'd have 18 more exhausting years, so ...uh...NO.
I agree with your mom, epidural! My labor wouldn't have gone so great if it wasn't for that. The 30 minutes I felt contractions was NOT fun at all. I can't imagine hours of that! I use to freak about the pooping thing. But I never pooped. I think it may be because I only had to push twice. There is a lot more gross stuff that comes out besides poop though. Poop is easier to handle then the after birth. After birth.. honestly I never saw any of that. I saw my Aunt have a baby and I am glad I didn't have to see my own. I loved how discreat (spell?) my doctor was about it. I know it's a worry but you will be in good hands and remember things are more likly to go smooth then they aren't. These stories James and I heard that freaked us out were always things that rarely happen. The worst part was recovering from an epesiodomy. My doctor said I would rather have to recover from that then a tear so I recommend telling your doctor if he sees a need for an epesiodomy to go for it. The recovery sucks but much better then tearing. I also agree with the pooping after delivery, it took me until the 3rd day and I'll just say I wish I had an epidural! I was even on laxitives and it was still bad. So buy some laxitives now. They will give you some at the hospital but then have you take one over the counter. But seriously don't stress no one knows how it goes for anyone else. Everyone is different but I think that is the hard thing is the unknown. You'll do great. Especially if Trevor is by your side. Sorry this is so long. I don't know if that helped. All I have to say is thank heaven for Epidurals! You'll be so excited about your new prescious baby that you won't even be worrying about that. It's the last thing on your mind. You just can't wait until they put your baby in your arms.
Oh and I'm getting the rest of our pictures Saturday so I should have them Sunday.
my mom pooped on the table with me. that is the ONE thing my dad remembers most about my birth to this day.
you'll do fine. if i come across any books or things in my upcoming weeks, i will let you know!
how are you giving birth in eight weeks?! i feel so confused inside. are you getting induced? or are we due the same day? i 'm lost!
andrea, you are going to do fine. i compare birth to running a long race or something. you are kind of dreading it but once you are in it you know you can do it and you do do it and you're actually fine. the nice thing about birth is you can get drugs. do it! i took a nap during labor and then they basically woke me up to tell me it was time to push. don't worry, there was some pain before the epidural but you can handle it. everyone has different experiences so yours will be different from all of ours. when you have an epidural it is hard to feel the contractions and where you are supposed to push so they tell you to push like you do when you poop! hence, some people poop on their babies heads!! but, it's normal. and, i already told you but you will be wearing pads for about 2 weeks. yes, there's that much blood. and embrace the big mesh underwear. i actually loved it. anyway, what else do you want to know?! you're gonna be fine, i swear. i did it, right?
And that is why I'm happy I got a c-section!!!!! I totally agree with Jennifer....I was TERRIFED of the first BM! I remember the nurses kept asking me if I had farted yet! Seriously...SO embarassing...and then I got it. Once you do...the BM comes real soon after. Thank goodness for stool softener! I think I even called my mom and told her that I had finally did and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going be!
Once you go through 24 hours of people looking at your pachonka nothing is embarassing. And when it comes to the bleeding part...the dr. cleaned me out pretty well in the OR so there wasn't a whole lot of bleeding (thank goodness!) Your mom is not exaggerating, you will look at maxi pads in a whole new light! The pads that the hospital gave me went from my belly button to the small of my back...okay not that big, but pretty much! Oh gosh. There is so much more...milk coming in...Oh the joys of having a baby! I'm excited to chat it up more when you are in town! :)
Call me sometime and we'll chat! There is so much! 913-406-0956
ummm, these comments are not helping my fears of becoming a mom. in fact, they increased them. shoot. why did i read these?
I thought of something else-- everything in your hospital room you payed for. So, as ghetto as this seems, I took all of the extra blankets, diapers, mesh underwear, pads, those plastic sheets they lay down on the bed, etc. with me. Tim and I were like, "Yah! Free stuff!" I ended up using it all too. Don't leave anything behind!!
And while I'm on the subject, the delivery was my absolute favorite part of being pregnant. After I got my epidural and stopped shaking so bad from "transition," I really couldn't feel much. We were laughing as I was pushing. My doctor was cracking jokes. My room was full of interns, all the nurses that had helped me, specialists, etc. It was a free, open show. All modesty goes away. Embrace it.
Well I am having a natural childbirth. Dad is a homeopathic doctor and delivered babies for most of my growing up years. Jessica has had 4 kids with midwives and they all went beautifully. So I look forward to having a midwife of my own. Tell Trevor that it would benefit you greatly to go to some kind of birthing class just so you can feel more prepared. Advice from friends is great but I think you will have more peace of mind if you do. You owe it to yourself and Trevor owes it to you for knocking you up. ha ha JK As far as epidurals, make sure you do your research so you can make the best decision for you. I don't think many people know as much as they should know about the effects that it can have on you and the baby.
Plus once you have an epidural you are no longer in control of YOUR birth. The hospital is. Dad was just telling me that C-sections are now up to around 50% in hospitals. Just thought I would throw out a different view since the majority of the above comments are pro epidural.
I haven't had my baby yet...but I would agree with the comment to go to a class. It'll give you both sides of all the stories for epidurals etc. It's nice to have a general idea of what's going to go on.
you don't have to do the all day class. Ours is 3 hours on 2 nights. Tell Trev to suck it up and go...HE'S not the one who's going to have to deliver, YOU ARE. So, if it'd make you feel better to learn a little...DO IT. I made fun of my class because parts are funny, but in reality it's nice getting a walk through of everything.
Ok, with my first I was in hard labor for 25 hours and no drugs. Of course I was in London and the hospital was a little less than par. There are all sorts of things to get grossed out about besides the poop and there is so much you go through that you didn't even think possible. At one point I told my husband to make sure he tells her that I loved her and that I was just done.
Another thing that was just awful, for me, the doctor would come into my room and would shove is hand up there and when your contracting it is just the worst thing ever.
After a while they put me on nitrous oxide for a total of about 15 hours and I don't remember it helping at all but apparently I would fall asleep between contractions.
You may have heard this but the first time you stand up after delivering you bleed down there and it's not just a little.
I guess with all this I'm pro-drug. And my delivery was a little odd so I'm sure yours won't be like mine.
And for future references don't have a baby in London with the public health, it was the worst experience ever.
After the baby came they put me in a room with 5 other women who just had babies, no nursery so the baby is with you at all times and no visitors after 9pm. Oh and the bathroom is down the hall so the first time I stood up there was a red trail all the way to the bathroom.
Oh and by the way, after 25 hours of labor I ended up having an emergency C-section.
Ahh, the joys of being a mother.
I would have to agree with your mom, it is all worth it!
Hope I didn't scare you too much I just don't prefer a non-drug delivery.
Sorry for the long comment I just have a lot to say about deliveries. And I'm so excited for you and of course you must post your experience and all the gross parts of it too. haha!
OK... as a labor and delivery nurse, a few things...
1. This is your delivery. You make the decisions if you want meds or not. One thing I suggest, if you are put on pitocin, get an epidural. Period.
2. If you can, take the classes. I taught them once upon a time, and I can tell the patients who take them now.
3. The extra stuff (blankets, plastic sheets, etc.) are not included in your hospital bill. Don't take them. However, anything opened by you, bag of pads, mesh undies, diapers, are yours to keep, and whatever the hospital sends with you. You do get some freebies... a little diaper bag, stuff like that.
4. Kali is close to right, C-section rates are up, but some of that is patient choice, and some are necessary (fetal distress, previa, multiples)... some are not always necessary...that's true.
5. The poop thing... you use the same muscles when you push as you do when you bear down to have a bowel movement. Usually it isn't much anyway, because the baby's head flattens the rectum as it descends...And, if your nurse is a good one, she will keep you clean.
6. Stool softeners... get them. We use Colace (docusate sodium), or Sennakot. Stay hydrated, and eat fiber.
7. You can always call me and I can give you a run-down of what to expect while you are in labor...
This made me laugh so hard! It hardly ever happens, and that will be the least of your worries. SO you really need to call me and I'll give you the scoop. I sure do know how everything feels going natural, but I remember you said I was crazy for doing that. But, you still need to call me!
Sooo its been 6 weeks since I had my baby and so trust me its fresh in my mind! If you get an epidural then psuhing wont hurt too much but it will tire you out. But the girl that talks about having to go # 2 after brith ... so ture. It will pass though! =)
Interesting stuff. I hope the comments keep coming. This is great prep for me too :) Pray about what you think you should do. That's always the best option. My sister had an 11 pound baby - NATURALLY! The doctors and nurses lined the hall when they wheeled her out and gave her a standing ovation. She is on her 6th baby now, same month as me. But has done a myriad of things. Each is an individual choice. I've heard pros and cons for both.
one way to go and one way only - EPIDURAL! with that baby, you'll do great and wont feel a thing!! dont let people freak you out with their horror stories, people LOVE to tell their horrow stories. mine went great, so just think that can happen too!
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