I had a conversation with a friend today about what I will deem "hot mom syndrome" or "HMS"Maybe it is my five years living in UTAH, (aka capital of all things hot mom) but I am starting to feel an unseen pressure to be a "HM." Problem is, I don't even have children. *Disclaimer - if you are offended, I'm sorry.**
Now we all know what a "HM" consists of. Bleach blonde hair or possibly jet black - bonus points for extensions. Incredibly fake (but "hot") tan. Synthetic breasts. Ceramic nails. Thin body courtesy of the 3+ hours a day of exercise combined with the "Don't eat" diet. Perfectly arranged and in fashion outfits topped off with the wedge heels and plethora of silver jewelry. Full out Mac makeup job on a daily basis. Driving around in a black SUV complete with 3 children, under 3, all in car seats.
I'm curious as to if anyone else is starting to feel like this the NORM. Don't get me wrong, I fully endorse not "letting yourself go" post-child, but it is odd to me how it is almost standard in a lot of our community cultures. In addition, as appealing a goal as it sometimes seems to me - I honestly don't comprehend how any woman (even WITHOUT 3 kids) can ever keep it up. It is a burden even NOW for me to put on makeup daily. And hair? Ya, I never do that. Not to mention HOW DO THEY AFFORD IT? Much less find the time to keep it up.
It takes a lot of work/dough to be able to keep up that bleach and that tan.
I'm just curious as to if anyone else has noticed this phenomenon. Is it limited to the Utah/Arizona/California areas? Is it related to the LDS culture? Do you know someone like this? How do they do it? Do you want to be a self titled "hot mom"?
Just curious.
Oh and if anyone is wondering, I fully plan to wear seasonal sweatshirts and gain 20 lbs post-3rd child.
PS My mom is beautiful and I have included no pictures of hot moms so as to protect the innocently chemically enhanced.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Hot Mom Syndrome
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17 educated comments:
i am a witness that it is only a utah thing and i think it's crazy. i agree that you shouldn't completely let yourself go, but come on, let's be real people, at least. i would like to consider myself a hot mom, but definitely not under your definition!!
Have you noticed that many of the people that look like this are in debt? Utah has one of the highest percentages of all states of people in debt. Has anyone noticed that the norm in our American society is to have a collection of real, authentic designer bags {it's called treating yourself, right?},just because we see them all over the TV in the hands of celebrities. Most people can't truly afford them {having the cash in your hand doesn't qualify as legitimately being able to afford something}. Well, kids and babies are expensive and when you consider that most people in Utah are in debt, it seems like the people TRYING the hardest to be hot moms or just hot women in general {hours dedicated to bleaching and tanning, manicures, etc} are just trying to cover what is actually making them feel bad about themselves. Maybe they gave into the LDS peer pressure to have babies before they were emotionally or financially ready. They don't want to feel like their children define them? Maybe they are having problems in their marriage, but don't want to admit it to anyone in the LDS culture. Most Mormons just don't believe in divorce, right? Unfortunately they don't believe in very long courtships either, the average dating/engagement time at BYU is way shorter than 1 year. Yes, you can definitely know someone is marriage material after that amount of time, but maybe there is someone BETTER? Anyways, retail therapy soothes a heart like no other. Having grown up in a place with hardly any Mormon "plastic moms" that fit the description of the Western Mormon hot moms, I can only describe of the non-Mormon women that fit the bill. Most of the overly hot moms I knew all had the above mentioned problems and their lives were not at all what they appeared to be to the outside viewer. If you look at the celebrities who look the most beautiful, they don't even do these ridiculous combinations of things. The only famous woman I can think of who fits the above description is Pamela Anderson. Now, say she is classy isn't she?
I sincerely hope my rant doesn't offend anyone. I think you should do your best to keep yourself looking like the person you feel....regardless of whether you bleach your hair or tan or get implants. Just don't feel like you have to look like one of Hef's Girls Next Door in order for people to appreciate you or envy you {hopefully thats not what people are going for...but it doesn't seem like a impossibility does it?}. Nor should you feel like you have to be so fake and never actually suffer from the drama that is life, kids or not.
go to the east coast and look at an upper east sider in NYC, they won't look as trashy as some of the hot moms you ave described...ooh and the show real housewives of New York does not count...they are the trashy ones that want their dramas played out on national TV
Thanks for posting this HMS post Andrea, you are so lovely to just post the truth...and your mother is not a trashy hot mom that I would rant about...she is classy, which would explain why you are :)
haha, I love this post. I think it's a mormon/west coast thing. Ever since I went to school in utah and then moved to nevada I see MANY of these exact same moms you are describing. I don't know HOW THEY maintain it! It's exhausting. I can barly do my hair and buy cute clothes...I completely leave out the tan, nails, car, breast enlargements etc.
I want to be a hot mom, but not so hot where people think I'm 17. I'll just keep it reasonable.
East coast where I am from is totally different.
I've grown up around a lot of moms who are beautiful and classy, not trashy. They don't fit your HM definition in that they don't go tanning, get their nails done, etc. In other words, they aren't high maintenance, but they do take the time to look decent and exercise. The pressure I feel is from the girls around my age to already have lost all my baby weight...and it's a hard process! I don't like the fake look anyway. I feel bad for people who feel like they have to fit a certain mold in order to enjoy life. I would never mind driving a nice SUV, however!!
This was great. Coming from a state where they talk about how big hair is..."The Big Texas Hair," I've actually never seen anything as big as Utah hair. I think it's a generational thing. More moms these days are working, thus making themselves have to look presentable. But in my travels, I've actually seen a lot of "Hot Moms." None to the degree of Utans though. And I am so upset that Archuleta lost. I'm still in morning.
And I just read over my comment and I don't think I made any sense. Sorry,I was all over the place. My brain is fried.
ugh i just wrote a pretty lengthy comment. dont feel like remembering everything i wrote. so maybe it wasn't meant to be (i hate that saying by the way, so its funny that i said it.) But i did want you to check out a talk by Elder Holland entitled "To Young Women." I think you'll really like it, but one of my most favorite things he said was, "And if adults are preoccupied with appearance—tucking and nipping and implanting and remodeling everything that can be remodeled—those pressures and anxieties will certainly seep through to children."
Nice post. Miss you visiting mine's.
Sheryl pretty much summed up exactly what I planned to say. I LOVE that talk by Elder Holland, too. He lovingly puts into perspective that these women (and all women, really) need to look to the Lord to discover their self worth rather than looking to our media-obsessed, superficial society.
Being a good mom is about romping around on the floor with your little ones, chasing them around the park, and wiping their teary eyes with your shirt when you don't have a tissue on hand. It's hard to do those things in heals and designer clothes. (This is coming from the girl who never even owned a pair of flats a year ago. Now I reserve my heals for church and nights out with Dan.)
One more thought: I grew up in Northern California and never even knew these type of women existed until my junior year at BYU. The sad thing is, as much as we all don't want to be that type of woman, in some ways we do. I definitely need to keep myself in check and remember that it's not the end of the world if my scrapbook isn't up-to-date and if I carry a Target diaper bag instead of a Lois Vouitton hand bag.
Sheryl pretty much summed up exactly what I planned to say. I LOVE that talk by Elder Holland, too. He lovingly puts into perspective that these women (and all women, really) need to look to the Lord to discover their self worth rather than looking to our media-obsessed, superficial society.
Being a good mom is about romping around on the floor with your little ones, chasing them around the park, and wiping their teary eyes with your shirt when you don't have a tissue on hand. It's hard to do those things in heals and designer clothes. (This is coming from the girl who never even owned a pair of flats a year ago. Now I reserve my heals for church and nights out with Dan.)
One more thought: I grew up in Northern California and never even knew these type of women existed until my junior year at BYU. The sad thing is, as much as we all don't want to be that type of woman, in some ways we do. I definitely need to keep myself in check and remember that it's not the end of the world if my scrapbook isn't up-to-date and if I carry a Target diaper bag instead of a Lois Vouitton hand bag.
ha ha, this is hilarious! I don’t know you and I'm not sure how I got to your blog but I think you are hilarious, not to mention you live in Parma which is near Kuna where I reside accept during the summer. I do have a hair dresser but she isn’t taking any new clients. Back to the hot mom syndrome, I think it all comes from Utah. When you live in Kuna you really only have to look good once a week when you go to the big city. I'm so glad I don’t live in Utah it's way too much pressure. Being a hot mom isn’t nearly as important as raising a righteous generation.
andrea, this is why i love you---for posts like this. so great.
So what's wrong with looking like that? I do and it's totally natural. Ok so maybe my black roots are a dead give away. You are too funny! What is it with Utahans? Who even started it? They all need to stop. Except it would put me out of business. All I do is blond I swear!!
What is the "Utah" hair that I keep hearing about? When I lived there it was feathered in the front- top area, with a perm in the back... I'm assuming (and hoping) it has evolved. Anyway, you will be a HM... just because you are adorable!
I think it's sad that some people who know better spend so much time and money on the wrong things trying to find fulfillment in their lives. It's never enough, I think it's easy to get sucked in...I fully plan on going against this trend...=) I will be doing them a favor by making it easier to look better than others!
I think this is the longest you've gone without updating your blog. Get with it sister. :) Oh, by the way. Great post about hot moms.. I don't even know where to begin on this one. But you can bet that won't be me... what a waste of time, energy and money.
You don't have to worry because you are gorgeous without makeup, naturally blond(ish) and skinny. Interesting comment from the over 40 crowd: I actually had a "hot" mom but she never spent that much time or money on herself, really. I do, however, remembering that I wish she were just normal. I just wanted her to be like all the other fat moms in seasonal sweatshirts. I think it was a competitive thing. Who wants to be in highschool with a mom cuter than you are? I also think that as you travel the country, you'll see that this is not the norm. Go to Oregon, don a backback and some Bjorn's and you'll see real. Additionally, as we fill our lives with serving others, those things just aren't important.
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