Reagan AnnaThe past couple weeks have been some of the most difficult in terms of patience and exhaustion. I feel like the past 4 months of no sleep finally hit me like a wall. I saw a picture of myself today and realize now why everyone is asking how I'm doing - I look like hell. I struggle with my guilt as a mom, trying to divide my attention between the kiddos and a little time for myself (and my sanity...). I constantly feel guilty and it's, hands down, the most difficult part of our situation.
Reagan is definently my neglected child. She has a super high maintenance sister who demands to be held or screams bloody murder....hence, Reagan is often left to fend for herself. Trevor pointed out she was balding on the back of her head and I know it's because I don't hold her enough. I feel awful. She has the most tender, sweet deposition. She rarely cries and when she does, it's the most pitiful sound you have ever heard. It just makes you drop everything and run to her rescue (unlike her sister, whose cry pretty much makes you want to drive nails into your eyeballs). As soon as you look at her, and talk to her, her eyes light up and I swear she smiles with her whole being - scrunched up eyes and all.
I've never seen anything like that. She is truly a gem on this Earth and no doubt, sent to our family because she can handle the chaos.
