Reagan AnnaThe past couple weeks have been some of the most difficult in terms of patience and exhaustion. I feel like the past 4 months of no sleep finally hit me like a wall. I saw a picture of myself today and realize now why everyone is asking how I'm doing - I look like hell. I struggle with my guilt as a mom, trying to divide my attention between the kiddos and a little time for myself (and my sanity...). I constantly feel guilty and it's, hands down, the most difficult part of our situation.
Reagan is definently my neglected child. She has a super high maintenance sister who demands to be held or screams bloody murder....hence, Reagan is often left to fend for herself. Trevor pointed out she was balding on the back of her head and I know it's because I don't hold her enough. I feel awful. She has the most tender, sweet deposition. She rarely cries and when she does, it's the most pitiful sound you have ever heard. It just makes you drop everything and run to her rescue (unlike her sister, whose cry pretty much makes you want to drive nails into your eyeballs). As soon as you look at her, and talk to her, her eyes light up and I swear she smiles with her whole being - scrunched up eyes and all.
I've never seen anything like that. She is truly a gem on this Earth and no doubt, sent to our family because she can handle the chaos.
9 educated comments:
That top pic of Reagan looks just like Katie at that age. Life is a balancing act and you are undoubtedly doing a great job. Love you, honey.
dont worry, charlie is balding too in one spot AND his head is flat. poor kid. AND i don't even have twins. you're doing great. guilt sucks. we can only do what we can do! and our best is good enough :)
ps its cathy, somehow im always logged in as kris these days
Why does motherhood have to come with so much guilt!?!?! I am full of it each night as I replay my day and think about what I could have done better or how I could have been more patient. Then the next morning my sweet girls still love me to pieces and that helps me know I am doing something right. I know you are an awesome mom because these things eat at you. I know that doesn't make you feel less stressed about it but I hope you realize how great you are. And don't worry about the baldness :) Both my girls started to bald and I just shaved their heads! Lol then their hair grew in perfectly even. I'm a freak, I know! Hope you have a good Sunday tomorrow.
Love this post!!!!!
Not to mention she is a MINI Andrea! I swear, she looks so much like you! I didn't see it when she was a newborn but now I think her eyes are exact copies of yours :) Perhaps she is so even tempered because her sister needs her to be right now. Life is all about "stages" and at some point maybe Reagan will be the one needing more of your attention. I'm sure you are doing a great job :) Every time I'm having guilt about my parenting abilities I just watch an episode of 16 and pregnant and instantly feel like I am doing the world a HUGE favor by raising these kids, my {many}imperfections and all. And I'm not even comparing myself to those teen mom's that make me feel better.. I'm talking about THEIR crappy parents.
what a sweetheart.
Julia has a flat head because I can't seem to figure out how to hold her while helping Jack...not sure how you do it with THREE!
Also, I was the high maintenance one...and I turned out alright. And, Vanessa was the neglected twin and I think she turned out alright too :-)
Andrea! I came across your blog today (from Megan Shumway's). It's been forever (probably since king henry days?), and it was good to catch up on your life via blog stalking! Your children are DARLING. And your posts are hilarious. And even though you might not think it, your life is pretty dang inspiring!
xoxo,
Andrea (Hymas) Bergeson
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