Maybe it's because I have "entered" the married world, but lately, it seems like newlywed couples are getting divorced left and right. People I know and love and would NEVER expect it of. Now I fully respect the fact that different relationships face different issues and I am in no way judging those situations/people, but it has caused me to reflect on my own marriage a lot.
Without "airing dirty laundry" I will just say the past few months have been very challenging for us. Our issues are MINOR in comparison to some - mostly just the combining of two very different lifestyles heated by long work hours and CRAZY ace hormones, but nevertheless it's HARD sometimes.
Sometimes I read blogs and think everyone has a better marriage than mine - as they seem to NEVER experience slammed doors and tears - but I know this is not the case. I have come to the conclusion that marriage (at different times for different couples) becomes WORK; however, work is a GREAT thing.
Without "airing dirty laundry" I will just say the past few months have been very challenging for us. Our issues are MINOR in comparison to some - mostly just the combining of two very different lifestyles heated by long work hours and CRAZY ace hormones, but nevertheless it's HARD sometimes.
Sometimes I read blogs and think everyone has a better marriage than mine - as they seem to NEVER experience slammed doors and tears - but I know this is not the case. I have come to the conclusion that marriage (at different times for different couples) becomes WORK; however, work is a GREAT thing.
I love this quote:
"First, an eternal marriage is eternal. Eternal implies continuing growth and improvement. It means that man and wife will honestly try to perfect themselves. It means that the marriage relationship is not to be frivolously discarded at the first sign of disagreement or when times get hard. It signifies that love will grow stronger with time and that it extends beyond the grave. It means that each partner will be blessed with the company of the other partner forever and that problems and differences might as well be resolved because they are not going to go away. Eternal signifies repentance, forgiveness, long-suffering, patience, hope, charity, love, and humility. All of these things are involved in anything that is eternal, and surely we must learn and practice them if we intend to claim an eternal marriage."
(Elder F. Burton Howard - www.lds.org)
I am grateful for Trevor and my eternal marriage. I'm grateful I am married to someone who is so patient and long suffering towards me because sometimes, I'm a hormonal, ungrateful girl. Our marriage is NOT perfect, but that's what makes it wonderful. Two inperfect people attempting to grow together and create something perfect. I love love. (and TJ)
10 educated comments:
Amen sista!
that is weird cuz before you posted this... I thought YOU were a perfect couple!! Who'da thought!!
;)
(wink*wink)
yes. yes to this post. trust me. i've had plenty of slammed doors. the other night (and we laugh so hard about this now, but at the time it was NOT funny...to me anyway), i was so mad at jake for some stupid reason. so i yelled from our bedroom (he was on the couch), "I'M LEAVING TOMORROW!" and he casually says, "really. where ya goin?" me: "NO WHERE WITH YOU!" when i woke up the next day, i came out to the couch and he looked at me and said, "oh, hey jenna. you're still here i see." and i just busted up laughing. i'm such a loser. but now we have a funny inside joke...everyone fights. everyone is hormonal in their own special way (especially when you're pregnant. trust me. i know). you've got a good husband and he's got a good wife. hope your friends are doing ok.
Oh my word, I have had Adam throw a cell phone at the back of my car as I try to drive away (with little success) in the snow....then when I realized I wasn't going forward, I tried to reverse on his cell phone and run it over. Talk about a temper tantrum!! We all act our shoe size on occasion, especially when things get "less cushy" from time to time! I know all about that, since we will begin taking out $100k in loans for law school soon. I loved the quote you inserted about work and I think that though people will always have their agency (meaning there is no guarantee that one won't need a divorce...for abuse, addictions, affairs), there are certainly things that will help us *strengthen* our marriages. Then these things are less likely to take place. Thanks for the post, this is a reminder we all need!
This was such a great post...I think EVERYONE can relate to this...
It's so funny that you posted this tonight, as Drew and I couldn't decide where to go to dinner, and we got so frustrated that we couldn't agree that we just went home and neither of us have ate yet! haha!
But seriously, in just the three months we have been married, we have had to grow up a lot. Right after we got married, we were hit hard by challenges with Drew's family not supporting our marriage, and our new marriage was tested big time.
Amen to the different backgrounds! There are SO SO SO many elements of Jewish background that are WAY different then mormon culture, and Drew and I deal with that ALL the time. He was raised in COMPLETELY different family dynamics.
I would say that the one thing I have learned the most is that there is NO SUCH THING AS NORMAL. I think we all are striving to increase our capacity to love. Thank goodness we atleast have the Gospel, I can't imagine handling any marriage difficulty, big or small, without it.
Hope you are feeling okay in your pregnancy...=)
it's funny....sometimes blogs make everyone look so perfect, but in reality we all have our own trials! i love this quote you shared!
Don't worry, we aren't all as perfect as we seem on our blogs :) People are people, and therefore we aren't perfect. The fact that you got pregnant pretty early on in marriage is tough too! You are going through a lot of learning and adjusting AND you are pregnant which is the BIGGEST test of patience on all sides...which I've found out.
All and all though, I love marriage and love Mike :)
SO TRUE! I wrote a similiar post a few months ago because I kept getting emails about my "cute, perfect marriage". Just this weekend I got annoyed and locked poor Kris out of the house. He had to climb through the kitchen window to come to bed. HAHAHAH! We laugh pretty hard about that.
Great quote and thoughts!! Thanks.
Here's a link to an excellent talk from LDS.ORG
Agency and Love in Marriage
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/EmailArticleProcess?action=view&cmlId=272869&locale=0&emId=584660363
I'm sure Bec loves this. She thinks most blogs are "too happy".
amen. I have been married for 4 years now, and it can be very challenging at times. Thank you for writing this post. I too feel like everyone else has a better marriage than me according to their posts.
thanks for that quote, I needed to read that. :)
hey little mommy - I work at Pottery Barn Kids right now, but leaving in a couple weeks. If there's anything there you want (bedding?) for a 40% discount, let me know. More than happy to hook up my fellow classmate.
I absolutely LOVE that quote!! I hope things are going GREAT for you!! Miss ya!!
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